It is incredibly easy to get into a bedroom routine.  You engage in just enough foreplay to get everyone ready for a zombie-like session of intercourse.  You’re bored with yourself, but uninspired.  You want your sex life to be more exciting, but you’re tired, you’re stressed, you have to wake up early, you don’t have time, you have more important things to worry about, blah blah blah.  Well, get over yourself!  Foreplay doesn’t have to be complicated.  You can get as creative as you want, but it is often the simple things that put the life back in your Night of the Living Dead.

Take it back to the old school:

Kissing:  Deep passionate kisses can get the mood going in just the right direction.  The intense intimacy allows the excitement to build before the clothes come off.  If you have been in a relationship for a long time, making out is a great way to rekindle the puppy love.  It’s not just for teenagers!

Flirting:  At times, flirting is just flirting.  It may only get you a blushing face or a giggle.  However, if that flirt eventually leads you to the bedroom, then it can be foreplay too!  Flirting is another classic activity that is perfect for those in long term relationships.  Comment on how great your gal’s rear end looks in those new jeans.  Check her or him out.  Make them feel like they are just the bee’s knees.  That make out session should follow shortly thereafter. 

• Flirting is awesome because you can do it just about anywhere: at the grocery store, at a fancy restaurant, over the phone, at a PTA meeting, you get the idea.  Getting all hot in bothered in public adds another fun layer to foreplay.

Touch: Exploring all of the shapes and nuances that the body has to offer is incredibly erotic.  Allow your hands to enjoy the soft texture of the skin, the muscle definitions and even those deliciously jiggly areas.  You can feel the sexual energy oozing from their body while transferring yours to them.  Pay attention to their reactions as you caress various regions of the body.  The curve in the back and the arch of the foot might be some seriously sensitive hot spots.  I personally want nothing more than to fall asleep after an intense massage.  You can pretty much count me as useless.  However, many boast that a massage is the perfect way to start off a romantic evening of sexual bliss.  Light some candles and grab the massage oil to really set the mood.

Toys: Now you knew this was coming.  It is in fact my job to tell you how awesome sex toys are.  I will have you know that I have no problem professing how awesome “adult products” are regardless of who signs my paycheck.  I’ll get to the point: Vibrators are perfect for teasing.  You don’t have to go straight for the clitoris either.  Tickling the inner thighs, and following the perimeter of her naughty bits just might have her pawing at you like a wild kitty cat.  Light kink items are also great to add to your arsenal of foreplay.  Activities involving blindfolds and soft core restraints will drive your lover wild.  Tickle, tease and please without your other knowing what your next move will be.  Give a little and take it all back.  Just be ready for one intense steamy hot bed rattling night of naughtiness when you really get your hands on each other. 

Of course you can use your imagination when it comes to foreplay.  You can take some of these basic ideas and go wild.  This is just a reminder that the simple things can get the zombies out of your bedroom.  Not that I don’t love zombies; they have their place.  You know, like in George Romero movies.

Of course I’m going to hop on my soap box and give you my opinion this one.  It just so happens to reside somewhere in that gray area: most of the time.  Tease and titillation intensifies the mood and in some cases can be more pleasurable than the actual act of getting it on.  For many women, working up to doing the deed can take some time.  There is no “I’m at work/I’m ready for naughtiness” switch for your mental state or your body.

WebMD quotes an icon in the world of sexual health, “It’s particularly important for women to have successful foreplay because it takes a woman a longer time [than a man] to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm,” says “Dr. Ruth” Westheimer, EdD, a psychosexual therapist, professor at New York University, and lecturer at Yale and Princeton universities.

A man can just think about sex and have an erection, but for most women, wanting sex is not enough, says Westheimer. Foreplay serves a physical and emotional purpose, helping prepare both mind and body for sex. Many women need to be kissed, hugged, and caressed to create lubrication in the vagina, which is important for comfortable intercourse.”

Dr. Ruth has been educating the masses in the ways of “sexual literacy” since before many of us were born.  She knows a thing or two about what goes down in the bedroom.

Foreplay can even be the main event.  You may think that the toys, oral sex and dirty talk will eventually lead to intercourse.  There is nothing wrong with extended play sessions without intercourse.  If you are hitting all of the right spots with everything except for what is in your pants; well that’s ok too.  

However, we are in fact hanging out in the gray area.  There are those times when a quickie is possible and necessary.  Sometimes you wake up and you’re ready to go.  No foreplay or pleasantries needed.  Maybe you’re expecting company and you need to take care of business.  Perhaps you have simply had hanky panky on your mind all day; you’re hot and bothered and ready to get right to the point.  Depending on the time off the month, you may be producing tons of estrogen and be feeling incredibly eager to do the mattress mambo.  No one says you have to light the candles and get a full body massage before it’s time to get down to brass tax.

When in doubt, ask.  It is always safe to start with a little foreplay.  Pay attention to body language.  Unless you know for sure your partner is up for a wham bam, a warm up is best.  Listen to Dr. Ruth, “foreplay serves a physical and emotional purpose, helping prepare both mind and body for sex.”  A vibrator or a little massage oil can get your evening going in all of the right directions.