This post has nothing to do with Jason or his mask.  This is just a list of 13 things I feel like sharing that may or may not be sex related.

1. I like porn.  I like reviewing porn.  J.D. and I have been reviewing Tristan Taormino’s Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind over at HotMoviesForHer.  We are up to scene 4.  It’s their for the reading if you have an interest in reading what two awesome people have to say about a really really good porno.

2. I didn’t really care about the Royal Wedding.  Nor do I care that her dress looks like a Disney dress.  Bite me.  I’m NOT posting a link here on purpose.

3. My preferred alcoholic beverage is vodka.  Apparently it’s good for your hair.  I’m not sure I want to waist such precious liquids, but I’d give it a whirl.

4. Zooey Deschanel is a pretty awesome chick.  She was pure gold in The Hitchiker’s Guide to The Galaxy, but I’m not here to reveal what a nerd I am.  She wrote a “feminist” letter to Vogue at age 17.  Neat!

5.  I hate myself a little for posting this, but apparently Osama Bin Laden also liked to watch porn.

6. I feel like I should look at something like this to wipe that imagery from my poor poor brain.

7. Today is also Top Gun Day.  Top Gun was released 25 years ago?  Jesus I feel old.  I’ll never tire of that gratuitous volley ball scene.  Call me a cliche, but damn I want to hump that movie.  Yes, I said movie. I don’t care how terrible it was or how loony tunes Tom Cruise gets.

8. Fleshlight sent the SEAL Team 6 a box of Fleshlights in appreciation for their work in Pakistan.

9. A study found that Heavy Coffee Intake Linked To Lower Breast Cancer Risk.  Unfortunately, heavy intake  = 5 cups per day.  This is still an interesting find.

10. I’m starting to run out of things to put on my list of 13 things that have nothing to do with Friday the 13th.

11. We now have the Tantus Little Secrets Line over at Sextoys.com  They are awesome little bullet vibrators with bright body friendly silicone sleeves.

12. Tired of your kids not going to sleep at night so you can can have some much needed grow-folks time?  Then you can relate to Go The F*k To Sleep. My skinny tie wearing friend at Fuckyou.com posted it.

13. I don’t get what is going on in this video, but I love this song.  It isn’t new at all.  Yes, sometimes I like repetitive electronic hipster music.  It makes me feel like magical fairies are massaging my eardrum’s g-spot.  Enjoy.

2010 has been an interesting year.  I’m not going to lie and say it was all fabulous, but there certainly were some awesome events and moments.  I turned 30, which I am happy about and I beefed up my sex toy collection.  I have yet to write a review for some one of these products, but it is coming soon.  Keep in mind, this isn’t a list of toys that were released in 2010, they are the toys I enjoyed the most.

Tantus Curve. This mid-sized silicone dildo is great for g-spot stimulation.  It isn’t the only toy I use when I’m in the mood for g-spot play, but I certainly reach for it quite a bit.  I’ve never met a Tantus toy I didn’t like, but I especially like that the Curve is so easy to handle.  The angle is perfect for reaching your g-spot without having to contort your wrist and the base is nice and wide.  It is super flexible and I imagine it would make for a great strap-on dildo.  As with all Tantus toys, it is Phthalates free and hypoallergenic.

Sqweel by Love Honey. I love the Sqweel for being both unique and an overall awesome toy.  A product can be totally different from anything else, but still suck.  Not the case here.  It creates a one-of-a-kind non-vibratory lingering sensation on your clit and labia.  It’s also made from body safe materials; wheel-o-tongues from soft silicone and the casing from nonporous plastic.  You can easily take it apart for cleaning.  This isn’t a toy for quick orgasms and I totally dig that.

Mystic Wand by Vibratex. I LOVE this vibrator.  This is the sex toy that made me a lover of intense vibrations and taught me the meaning of deep vibrations.  I always thought I was “too sensitive” for high powered toys.  The Mystic Wand made me realize it was simply the type of vibration that wasn’t right for me.  The rich vibrations are simply divine.  No, it is not as intense as the Hitachi. Aside from the fact that I just think this vibrator is the shit when it comes to masturbating, it is also a well made toy.  Excluding the control panel, the exterior is made from silicone.  The head is flexible enough to move with you, but still allows for pressure on your clit.  As wand massagers go, it is small and lightweight (length: 8 1/4 in, weight: 1/2 lb).  This one is battery powered, but a rechargeable version exists.   Thanks for the orgasms, Vibratex.

Pink Water. I have owned my bottle of Pink Lube for a while, but it has definitely been my lube of choice this year.  It is a simple not too thick or too thin water based lube.  The pump makes it easy to apply and it isn’t runny.  It is fairly long lasting and doesn’t have any taste or smell.  What I love most about it is that it doesn’t get sticky.  For me, that means I’ll choose it over a thicker slicker lube.  Another huge plus for Pink Water is the fact that it is glycerin and paraben free, which is a must with my sensitive skin.

Lovemoiselle Aveline. This ceramic g-spot dildo gets used far more than I imagined it would.  Before bringing the Aveline home, I wasn’t terribly impressed.  It became one of my favorite toys as soon as I used it.  I love the firm texture and how the gentle curve manages to massage the g-spot.  It appears simple in shape, but offers a lot in the way of internal stimulation.  Ceramic is a nonporous material that quickly heats to your body temperature and doesn’t absorb lube too quickly.  While performance is more important than looks, the Aveline is a pretty dildo.  It comes in a foam lined box and a soft drawstring pouch is included.  Proper storage is important!

That’s it for 2010.  I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year!

In no particular order, the lesbian porn that I love…

Crash Pad Series – Episode 3: Jizz and Shawn There are a ton of episodes available from the Crash Pad Series, but number 3 comes in as my favorite. It was the very first movie from the series I had the pleasure of viewing. It was also, dare I use the term, first real lesbian porn I ever watched. Perhaps it is for sentimental reasons that I hold it above the rest. Or perhaps it is the hot dyke sex scene between Jizz Lee and Shawn. It did get nominated for “Hottest Dyke Sex Scene” at the 2006 Feminist Porn Awards.

Risque Girls from AbbyWinters.com Really, I love Abby Winters movies. All of them. Honestly. The solo masturbation movies and the girl on girl flicks hold special places in my heart. It was hard to pick just one, but Risque Girls features an all girl threesome so it won the cookie. I don’t discriminate when it comes to women. Super femmes, short haired bois, geeky chicks with glasses, even the occasional buxom blonde all make their way into my fantasies. Abby Winters movies always star the girl next door types. Hot lesbian sex with girls that look like the chicks you sat near in English – holy orgasm in about 5 seconds. Yeah, it’s serious.

Tombois Tombois in general make me all weak in the knees. The scene between Syd Blakovich and Satine Phoenix exemplifies this perfectly. J.D. over at HotMoviesForHer agrees and wrote a great review a few months ago. You should read it.

Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes Belladonna and Jizz Lee together is, well, amazing. Their scene is one of the hottest girl on girl strap on scenes in the history of porn. I don’t consider myself to have a foot fetish, but I rather enjoyed the foot play in this porno. Belladonna turns me on like no other and damn do I respect her and her empire. I heart dirty sex. I heart Belladonna. Or, as my smut expert friend would say, “it’s fucking Belladonna. Nuff Said”. This isn’t to undermine the greatness that is Jizz Lee. I get butterflies just seeing her Tweets. She got named on this post twice for crying out loud. P.S. The other scenes in Strapped Dykes are beyond hot.

Perversions of Lesbian Lust This XXX lesbian flick is full of deliciously kinky sex. Dylan Ryan and Madison young display dominance and submission at it’s finest, along with all out great fucking. Madison’s solo masturbation scene makes me wish I was a clothes pin (watch and you’ll understand). I watched this movie back in my porn editing days. It was definitely one I had to go home and watch more than a few times. I haven’t seen Perversions of Lesbian Lust 2, but with Sasha Grey added to the mix it has to be hot.

There ya have it. My top 5 lesbian porn films.  What would you add to the list?

Without further ado and in no particular order -

1. Do I really need to explain this Saturday Night Striptease favorite?  Take one look at this fiery bombshell and you will know why Blaze Starr was called the “Hottest Blaze Burlesque”! 

2. The O2 Revolution by Tantus offered a little more in size than I usually require, but it quickly became a favorite in my toy collection.  It is made from 100% platinum grade silicone, is hypoallergenic, phthalates free, nonporous, easily sterilized, aesthetically pleasing and downright awesome!  It is perfect for those times when that fulfilled sensation is desired.

3. The Fantasy Swing was an awesome addition to my toy and furniture collection.  My boo and I have enjoyed using it quite a few times – it allows for fun and creative positions during hanky panky time and honestly it just fun to play on even with your clothes on.  It is incredibly sturdy and secure.  Hint: Hanging it from something that can support the load is a must!

4. Fun Factory’s Layaspot is definitely my go to massager.  It is what I like to call fantastical – made from body friendly elastomed, it fits perfectly in the palm of your, has a satisfying range of vibration and rates a 10 on the orgasmatron 5000 meter.  While I feel that my love for this amazing little contraption would be best described through interpretive dance, I will simply quote myself.  “I’d like to give the geniuses at Fun Factory a bunch of kisses for this one.  Or make them cookies; ask for their hand in marriage or some such activity that would hopefully let them know that I love this toy from the absolute depths of my soul.”

5. Pink Silicone Lube.  I love this stuff!  I can’t use it with any of my beloved silicone toys, but it is perfect for toy free partnered play and intercourse.  It has to be reapplied far less often than water based lube, but still washes off fairly easily.  It makes everything silky smooth, soft and slippery without feeling thick and goopy (technical term).  It can almost be described as baby powder like.  Paraben and glycerin free, this stuff is made for women with even the most sensitive of naughty bits.  The classy glass bottle looks fabulous on my nightstand too. 

That concludes my Top 5 of 2009.  It has been great year for toy testing and so much more.  I can only hope that 2010 will be equally as fantastic!  Happy New Year!

Silicone dildos are awesome.  It’s a fact.  We love them so much that we dedicated an entire category to them.  Regardless of your dildo style, there is a silicone dildo out there for you.

Let’s talk about a few, shall we?

Leisure: For the simple chick who likes her toys understated, simple and satisfying.  Also for the girl who likes to dabble in a little bit of strap on play.

“The perfect harness toy. The Leisure is so simple that you might wonder why it wasn’t developed sooner. Leisure has a narrow tip for a gentle beginning, and smooth shaft that bends to your body’s interior curves.”

Little Su Natural Dildo

Little Su Natural Dildo: For the unique lady who likes hands free play and clitoral stimulation with her silicone dildo.  It is quite versatile and can stimulate your partner while you wear it; there’s nothing wrong with a little bump and grind!  It comes with an instruction manual with tons of fun ideas for use.

“The Little Su by Joya 4U is an inventive new silicone toy that was designed by women, with women in mind! The smart design teases the sensitive vaginal opening, G-Spot and clit all with the same toy. The amazing clitoral bump rests in place upon insertion, allowing for hands-free solo play. Women will find it adds to both solo and partnered sex equally!”

Cavalier:  If you’re a bit anal, this is the dildo for you!  I’m not talking about your attention to detail, either.  Described as a “butt plug crossed with anal beads”, this silicone wonder is sure to please all who like anal play.

“The Cavalier dildo has an amazing texture, full of graduated bulges and sexy raised curves, and is perfect for a fun evening of anal play! The flared base makes it perfect for use with a harness, and also works as a suction cup, sticking to any flat, non-porous surface for hands free fun.”

Hoss

Hoss: Size queens, you know who you are.  Hoss is for the ambitious woman who wants it all and then some.  With 11 insertable inches and an 8.5 inch girth, beginners are no match for this big hunk of burning love.

“Size Queens rejoice! Hoss is the biggest silicone cock Tantus makes and is perfect for those of you looking to ride a big old stallion until you scream! The impressive girth and long shaft are sure to be enough to fulfill even the greediest people out there – so put on your spurs and give ‘er a go!”

Goodfella:  For the woman who likes em’ real.  This dildo is great for the person who likes to strap it on and give the receiver that life like feel.  This Vixskin cock has a comfortable base, a satisfying texture and 3D balls.  Yes, I said 3D balls.

“This special design allows the receiver to feel the true-to-life testicles with every thrust, instead of an O ring or fastener. Also excellent as a pack and play dildo, the Goodfellas flexible silicone allows him to be gently bent down to wear under clothes in a harness, springing up and ready to go when the moment strikes.”

Ella

Ella: For the classy broad.  This g-spot dildo oozes with elegance and sophistication. 

“ELLA is a dedicated pleasure object with one end precisely designed to reach and stimulate the G-spot area, the other fashioned for conventional erotic stimulation.”
 

What is all of this silicone dildo hype about?  They are hypoallergenic, nonporous, phthalates free and scent free.  What does this mean to you?  It means they are body safe and won’t cause irritation or infections like other toys made out of porous materials.  They can be sterilized (as long as no vibe is present) by means of boiling for less than 10 minutes, washing with a 10% bleach solution or placed in the dish washer (no detergent).  Since they can be completely sterilized they can be shared with a friend – or 2 if that’s how you roll.  As long as they are cared for properly they have a long life span. 

Here is some helpful info: If possible store your silicone dildos upright.  Be sure not to rest them on top of one another, this may cause some deterioration.  Always use a water based lube!  Silicone lube will eat away at your precious silicone dildo!

Treat yourself to a silicone dildo and you will see what a valuable investment it is.  You and your naughty bits deserve it!

I am getting more and more excited about my trip to Las Vegas!  I have been packing my dresses, hosiery and sparkling jewelry.  I have also been gathering my travel appropriate sex toys.  I have a few that I can bring along, but I need to add to my discreet vibe collection!  They are in fact necessities.

Here is a list of vibes that would be great for travel:

1. Pop Vibe – One line in the description says it all, “match your outfits and orgasms to suit your needs”.

2. Posh Massager – It is small, silicone and power packed, which equals, discreet, body safe and orgasm guaranteed!

3. Waterproof Duckie Massager – It is adorable!  Even if someone did come across it, they would simply be stunned by its cuteness.

4. Natural Contour Jolie – It is a “sea colored little wonder” and “engineered to fit the curves of a woman’s body”.  I’m sold.

5. Nea – It isn’t the tiniest of vibrators, but it comes in its own pretty little box.  It would blend in nicely with my travel jewelry box.  Not to mention, it is a high quality vibe.

Have you entered for a chance to win $1000 in FREE sex toys?  What are you waiting for?  This Friday is your last day to enter!

And now for my first edition of List Day:

It’s wedding season again!  The only thing your bride to be friends can talk about are their dresses, their flower arrangements and their drama with their soon-to-be in laws.  Some of you ladies may be totally into it. Maybe you are thrilled to be the third bride’s maid in line wearing a semi-unflattering dress that you will never wear again.  You might love getting hit on by the creepy uncle who manages to make it to all of the pre-wedding festivities.  I sure hope none of my recently wed girl friends are reading this!

All sarcasm aside, weddings and the events surrounding them can be a lot of fun.  Whether you are a wedding enthusiast or participate only to support your best gal pal, everyone knows the best part is the bachelorette party! 

Women of all ages engage in the ancient tradition of decorating with, dressing up in, eating off of and drinking from all things penis.  The occasional boob may make its way into the mix.  When and where did this penis-bachelorette party thing start anyway?  Now on with my list:

The evening begins at someone’s house.

Decorations:

- Foil Pecker Streamers and Inflatable Pecker Garland: Set the party atmosphere with dangling dongs dancing from your cabinets and light fixtures.
- Penis printed Bachelorette Party Balloons: No party is complete without balloons… balloons with crudely drawn penises.
- Bachelorette Party Center Piece: Thanks for Mother’s Day flower arrangement.  It is now being replaced with a smiling pink cock.
- Blow up Penis: Who wouldn’t want this?

Food Fun:

- Boobie Cake Pan: Eating boobs with frosted pink nipples just makes me chuckle.
- Pecker Cake Toppers: These are penises manipulated to form numbers.  I am not sure why you would need numbers on a bachelorette cake, but damn are they funny looking.
- Super Fun Penis Candy: Can you imagine asking the bride’s mother if she would like to suck on some sweet cock?

Activities:

- Paint A Pecker: For the craft loving party girls.
- Glow in The Dark Pecker Toss:  Nothing brings a group together like a fun game of ring-around-the-rubber-dong.

You know you are going to hop in a limo and paint the town.

For the Bride:

- Miss Bachelorette Sash: This is a must have and will ensure the bride does not pay for any of her drinks.
- Bachelorette Flashing Pecker Bridal Veil and Garter: More must haves.  They will mostly likely end up missing by the time you hit the third or fourth drinking establishment.

For The Party Girls:

- Light-up Pecker Lei and Pecker Party Ring: Make sure everyone knows you are a part of the wedding fun with ridiculous penis accessories.
- Jumbo Dicky Sippers: What else are you going to drink your beverages out of?

This is a long list that I could add to for hours.  Check out the rest of our bachelorette party favors.  Give yourself a better memory than dancing with the moth ball scented grandpa!

Don’t forget to enter for a chance to win $1000 in FREE sex toys on my Fabulous Shopping Spree!