I’m not a huge fan of porn parodies. I don’t necessarily hate them and it can be fun to watch characters from my favorite TV shows and movies do it, but I’m not overly impressed with the copying of ideas.  Not that I’m offended by it, I just don’t think it takes much creative effort.  If you’re going to spend a lot of money on a porn to actually have a decent production value and bother to give people lines, then come up with some new for crying out loud!  Regardless of what I think, the porn industry is steadily rolling out the XXX spoofs and there is no end in site.  Sooo, I might as well watch them.

After all that bitching, I have to say that I am intrigued by the Hustler’s This Ain’t Lady Gaga XXX that is scheduled to be released on July 26th because  1. It’s a porno with singing and dancing involved.  2. I’m a Gaga fan.  Yes, she it out of control with the ridiculous (often stupid) outifts, interviews, etc, but I don’t care.  3. The performer playing Lady Gaga, Helly Mae Hellfire, has a rockin’ body and can totally move.  I also have to agree with Fleshbot that she has the coolest name ever.

Here is the first trailer that was released.  I definitely look forward to watching movie in its entirety.

Photo courtesy of AVN

For all of you Twilight fans out there, Nasstoys has announced the release of a line of vibrators just for you!  Whether you are on Team Edward, Jacob or Alice (who happens to be from my home town) you can engage in a little solo play with a Twilite sex toy.

The Twilight movies don’t offer a lot in the way of cinematic genius, but they sure do offer some quality eye candy.  Let’s face it, vampire sex is hot.  When those fangs get you going, or someone from the wolf pack gets all violent and angry (sans shirt), you can complete your fantasy with one of these vibes.

Posted yesterday on AVN:

“The Twilite line features a massager and a wand, each available in two colors.

The Twilite Massager, available in black and white, has a powerful three-speed motor and boasts a sleek, stylish and compact design. The waterproof item is operated with a push button at the base, and it comes with a free travel pouch for discretion. The piece measures 5.5 inches long and requires one AA battery for operation.

The Twilite Wand has a more bulbous shape to its end, while the base houses a push button to operate the three-speed motor. Crafted from ABS, the waterproof Twilite Wand is 8.25 inches long, requires two C batteries and is available in black and pink.”

If you’re looking for a little more hardcore naughtiness during your Twilight Jill or Jack off session, then you should definitely check out these XXX parodies:

This isn’t Twilight XXX Parody starring Jenna Haze, Audrey Hollander and a gaggle of super sexy porn stars.  I don’t know about you, but I would much rather watch Jenna Haze (as Bella) take it from behind than watch Kristen Stewart mope and whine for 2 hours.

This Isn’t The Twilight Saga New Moon – The XXX Parody also starring Jenna Haze.  While Edward is off being an uber emo cry baby, Jenna (Bella) pays a visit to Jacob and his pecs for a much needed romp. It’s everything that you wanted to see in the movie.  I know I wanted to see someone get a blow job.

You’re welcome, Twilighters.

In no particular order, the lesbian porn that I love…

Crash Pad Series – Episode 3: Jizz and Shawn There are a ton of episodes available from the Crash Pad Series, but number 3 comes in as my favorite. It was the very first movie from the series I had the pleasure of viewing. It was also, dare I use the term, first real lesbian porn I ever watched. Perhaps it is for sentimental reasons that I hold it above the rest. Or perhaps it is the hot dyke sex scene between Jizz Lee and Shawn. It did get nominated for “Hottest Dyke Sex Scene” at the 2006 Feminist Porn Awards.

Risque Girls from AbbyWinters.com Really, I love Abby Winters movies. All of them. Honestly. The solo masturbation movies and the girl on girl flicks hold special places in my heart. It was hard to pick just one, but Risque Girls features an all girl threesome so it won the cookie. I don’t discriminate when it comes to women. Super femmes, short haired bois, geeky chicks with glasses, even the occasional buxom blonde all make their way into my fantasies. Abby Winters movies always star the girl next door types. Hot lesbian sex with girls that look like the chicks you sat near in English – holy orgasm in about 5 seconds. Yeah, it’s serious.

Tombois Tombois in general make me all weak in the knees. The scene between Syd Blakovich and Satine Phoenix exemplifies this perfectly. J.D. over at HotMoviesForHer agrees and wrote a great review a few months ago. You should read it.

Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes Belladonna and Jizz Lee together is, well, amazing. Their scene is one of the hottest girl on girl strap on scenes in the history of porn. I don’t consider myself to have a foot fetish, but I rather enjoyed the foot play in this porno. Belladonna turns me on like no other and damn do I respect her and her empire. I heart dirty sex. I heart Belladonna. Or, as my smut expert friend would say, “it’s fucking Belladonna. Nuff Said”. This isn’t to undermine the greatness that is Jizz Lee. I get butterflies just seeing her Tweets. She got named on this post twice for crying out loud. P.S. The other scenes in Strapped Dykes are beyond hot.

Perversions of Lesbian Lust This XXX lesbian flick is full of deliciously kinky sex. Dylan Ryan and Madison young display dominance and submission at it’s finest, along with all out great fucking. Madison’s solo masturbation scene makes me wish I was a clothes pin (watch and you’ll understand). I watched this movie back in my porn editing days. It was definitely one I had to go home and watch more than a few times. I haven’t seen Perversions of Lesbian Lust 2, but with Sasha Grey added to the mix it has to be hot.

There ya have it. My top 5 lesbian porn films.  What would you add to the list?

I wish didn’t remind me of growing up.

It seems like a new porn parody is popping up everyday.  They are fun to watch, usually contain some decent XXX action and are filled the biggest and best stars.  In perusing the porn parodies, I came across a few that were almost a little too familiar.

I don’t usually talk about porn here, but I just couldn’t resist.

Cheers A XXX Parody: Norm, is that you?  Carla, I never thought…

WKRP in Cincinnati A XXX Parody: The theme song just keeps running through my head.  Mr. Carlson just doesn’t do it for me.

The Jeffersons A XXX Parody: Wow, that’s what they meant by movin’ on up?  I always knew there was something going on between George and Florence.