Johnny from VixenCreations is a thick and meaty lifelike dildo.  This much needed addition to my collection of sweet little sex toys stands big and proud with a veiny shaft, pronounced head and hefty textured balls.  An incredibly realistic cock, not one detail was spared right down to the wrinkled upper shaft.

Basic Info :

Material: Silicone.  Vixen also makes Johnny in their skin-like material VixSkin.  This version is firmer, but still body safe all the way.  This one is also a little more wallet friendly.

Length: 7 inches.  It’s not the longest dildo I own.  It’s the girth that makes it the whopper that it is.

Width: 1 13/16 inches.

Color: It only seemed right to choose black for this dildo, but it does come in vanilla, chocolate, caramel and purple.

Johnny took some warming up with a couple of smaller dildos and a whole lot of lube.  At first I was worried that my eyes were bigger than my vagina with this one.  With pretty much zero flexibility or give, you definitely have to work your way up.  Getting past the fat head was a bit of a chore both on entry and exit.  The helmet brim really juts out and creates a ledge effect (the picture doesn’t do this justice). Patience was key in avoiding any discomfort; once I was past this point all was divine.  The slight curve aided in a little g-spot stimulation, but the fulfilled sensation was what made the experience so fantastic.  Johnny gives you that full feeling with very little thrusting required. It’s basically awesome.

Orgasm?  With all of the warming up and magnificent size, it was impossible not to have a seriously intense orgasm.

Johnny is harness compatible.  I didn’t get to test its strap-on-ability because I don’t have an O-ring big enough to accommodate it.  I can’t say if it is good or bad in that department, but I imagine it would look pretty great strapped on.  There would be no question about who was in charge!

I am a fan of Johnny.  It isn’t my dildo of choice for regular use, but I’m glad I have it ready and waiting for those times I’m looking for that filled sensation.  If you prefer small toys, this is not for you.  If you like a more flexible cock, you should definitely go with the VixSkin.  If you are a size queen or just looking for a bit of a challenge, this is the toy for you!

If you’ve never used anything of this size, know that you’ll have to work your way up.  Embrace it and enjoy the journey.  I know I did.

I have noticed an increase in negativity these days.  Maybe it’s that I have stopped letting every little thing bother me, so it has amplified the voices of the negative nancies.  I’m not going to get all yoga instructor or anything here.   I have my cynical days and consider my smart ass comments to be quite charming.  But, do you really have to complain all day long?  Do you hate everything?  Is there anything in this world that you like?  Even just a little bit?

To this I say, have a dildo and a smile and shut the fuck up.  It’s a bit cliched and I stole that line from somewhere (I can’t even remember where), but it’s really quite fitting.  You either need to get laid or purchase something that will help you relieve a little stress, or whatever it is that causes you to be so pissed all of the time.  I know an orgasm always helps me to be just a little less bitch-tastic.

If you are someone who complains everyday, do everyone a favor and rub one out.  You’ll feel a lot better.  Trust me.  Really at this point anything would do, but we might as well get it done right.  I’m going to recommend The Outlaw by Vixen Creations.  It is made from body friendly silicone, has 9 inches of insertable length and enough balls to handle any cunt.  Take that as you will.

“The largest dildo from Vixen Creations, the Outlaw offers incredible length and girth in their signature super-realistic vixskin textured silicone.

Type: Textured life like dildo
Length: 9 1/2 inches
Insertable Length: 9 inches Circumference: 6 1/2 inches
Special Features: Boilable, Large Size, Vixskin Textured.”

I am a fan of the G Force.  It is by no means a brand new toy, but if you like g-spot play, you should definitely add it to your collection.

Tantus uses 100% platinum grade silicone.  This makes the G Force phthalates free, hypoallergenic and nonporous.  It can be sterilized by means of boiling or using a 10% bleach solution.  This g-spot dildo is made from a harder silicone than some of their other Tantus toys.  It is flexible, but not malleable.  It feels solid in your hand and it is evident that it is a high quality product before it even comes in contact with your naughty bits.  As with all silicone toys, use water based lube only!

The G Force is a little over 10 inches in total length and not quite 1 ½ inches at its widest point, which happens to be the yummy bulbous head.  Naturally, the curve in the shaft makes it perfect for g-spot stimulation.  The easy to grip handle is roughly 4 or 5 inches long.  Since your g spot is only located 1-3 inches inside of the vagina, there is plenty of dildo left to take care of business. 

Color?  Candy.  Because I am woman enough love pink.

The G Force definitely delivered during solo play.  The curved shaft made it easy to reach my g spot, especially when I was leaning against a couple of pillows.  No awkward positions necessary.  That was lovely and all, but the real fun began when my boo took over.

The G Force during partnered play was fantastic!  I think it was a combination of the shape of the toy and the arm strength of my sex toy testing assistant.  He took control of the handle and went what one might call “buck wild”.  Vigorous up and down motions made for super intense g-spot stimulation.  The kind of stimulation that immediately causes your spine to disappear as your body makes shapes that only a contortionist should be able to achieve.  There is definitely squirt potential there.  Just putting that out there.

Basic info about the g-spot:

    - It was named after German gynocologist, Ernst Gräfenberg. 
   - It is located on the anterior/front vaginal wall, 1-3 inches back.  Yes, I know I already said that.  I am repeating     myself for a reason. 
   - It is also known as the urethral sponge.  Some speculate that it is simply an extension of the clitoris.
   - Some argue that the g-spot doesn’t exist.  The G Force says other wise and I happen to agree.
   - Response to g-spot stimulation varies from woman to woman.  Some experience intense orgasms and even ejaculation, others find it irritating and many fall somewhere in between.

Without question, I would recommend this toy to those who love and care for their g-spot.  It is body safe, suitable for comfy solo play and perfect for partnered play.  Those joint defying orgasms aren’t so bad either.

Silicone dildos are awesome.  It’s a fact.  We love them so much that we dedicated an entire category to them.  Regardless of your dildo style, there is a silicone dildo out there for you.

Let’s talk about a few, shall we?

Leisure: For the simple chick who likes her toys understated, simple and satisfying.  Also for the girl who likes to dabble in a little bit of strap on play.

“The perfect harness toy. The Leisure is so simple that you might wonder why it wasn’t developed sooner. Leisure has a narrow tip for a gentle beginning, and smooth shaft that bends to your body’s interior curves.”

Little Su Natural Dildo

Little Su Natural Dildo: For the unique lady who likes hands free play and clitoral stimulation with her silicone dildo.  It is quite versatile and can stimulate your partner while you wear it; there’s nothing wrong with a little bump and grind!  It comes with an instruction manual with tons of fun ideas for use.

“The Little Su by Joya 4U is an inventive new silicone toy that was designed by women, with women in mind! The smart design teases the sensitive vaginal opening, G-Spot and clit all with the same toy. The amazing clitoral bump rests in place upon insertion, allowing for hands-free solo play. Women will find it adds to both solo and partnered sex equally!”

Cavalier:  If you’re a bit anal, this is the dildo for you!  I’m not talking about your attention to detail, either.  Described as a “butt plug crossed with anal beads”, this silicone wonder is sure to please all who like anal play.

“The Cavalier dildo has an amazing texture, full of graduated bulges and sexy raised curves, and is perfect for a fun evening of anal play! The flared base makes it perfect for use with a harness, and also works as a suction cup, sticking to any flat, non-porous surface for hands free fun.”

Hoss

Hoss: Size queens, you know who you are.  Hoss is for the ambitious woman who wants it all and then some.  With 11 insertable inches and an 8.5 inch girth, beginners are no match for this big hunk of burning love.

“Size Queens rejoice! Hoss is the biggest silicone cock Tantus makes and is perfect for those of you looking to ride a big old stallion until you scream! The impressive girth and long shaft are sure to be enough to fulfill even the greediest people out there – so put on your spurs and give ‘er a go!”

Goodfella:  For the woman who likes em’ real.  This dildo is great for the person who likes to strap it on and give the receiver that life like feel.  This Vixskin cock has a comfortable base, a satisfying texture and 3D balls.  Yes, I said 3D balls.

“This special design allows the receiver to feel the true-to-life testicles with every thrust, instead of an O ring or fastener. Also excellent as a pack and play dildo, the Goodfellas flexible silicone allows him to be gently bent down to wear under clothes in a harness, springing up and ready to go when the moment strikes.”

Ella

Ella: For the classy broad.  This g-spot dildo oozes with elegance and sophistication. 

“ELLA is a dedicated pleasure object with one end precisely designed to reach and stimulate the G-spot area, the other fashioned for conventional erotic stimulation.”
 

What is all of this silicone dildo hype about?  They are hypoallergenic, nonporous, phthalates free and scent free.  What does this mean to you?  It means they are body safe and won’t cause irritation or infections like other toys made out of porous materials.  They can be sterilized (as long as no vibe is present) by means of boiling for less than 10 minutes, washing with a 10% bleach solution or placed in the dish washer (no detergent).  Since they can be completely sterilized they can be shared with a friend – or 2 if that’s how you roll.  As long as they are cared for properly they have a long life span. 

Here is some helpful info: If possible store your silicone dildos upright.  Be sure not to rest them on top of one another, this may cause some deterioration.  Always use a water based lube!  Silicone lube will eat away at your precious silicone dildo!

Treat yourself to a silicone dildo and you will see what a valuable investment it is.  You and your naughty bits deserve it!

So how did the burly-q show go?

Fabulous!  Tickets were sold out the day before the show, so no pressure.  Right.  Everyone in the troupe, including myself, was excited and eager.  We were a bit nervous knowing that we would be performing to a packed house with high expectations.  Did we disappoint?  Not even a little bit.  The hosts were hilarious, the band didn’t miss a beat and us dancing girls, well let’s just say we were on top of our game.  So, you get the point.  The show was a success, but you want details. 

The number: The Coffee Shop Girl

The voiceover begins as I am wiping down the counter.  My thoughts are heard: “The only thing that makes this job worth it is that hot guy that comes in here… He really grrrriiiinds my beans!”  (I know it’s corny, this is burlesque, people).  The voiceover continues and needless to say the hot guy enters.  He freezes, the other “customers” freeze and my coffee shop–striptease-fantasy begins.  It’s funny, it’s sexy, it’s fun for the whole family.  Okay, so maybe not the whole family. 

Anyhoo, speaking of successful sales, allow me to introduce you to one of our best sellers:  The Charmer.

The ridges to charm the G-spot.

Charmer Purple Haze is a dildo designed to hit the G-spot over and over as it’s worked in and out. Many people do not know how to find the G-spot.

Most G-spot toys on the market are 6 inches in length, this has lead people to think they are supposed to put the toy in all the way, and end up missing the mark. The urethral sponge is located 1 to 3 inches inside the vaginal opening, so the Charmers many ridges are a guaranteed hit!

1.4 inches x 6.8 inches

Tantus Inc. uses only the highest quality materials in the manufacture of their sex toys. These sex toys are an excellent choice for consumers who suffer allergies, or sensitivity to chemicals. Whether it is medical grade silicone or quality controlled, body safe and treated aluminum, you can be sure that the use of a Tantus sex toy is safe and healthy. For more information, see the interview with Metis Black from Tantus Inc. in the Sex Toys Blog.

Guaranteed to hit your G-spot?  I’m sold.

We are all special and unique snowflakes and have different needs.  Some prefer short and thin, some prefer tuna can shaped, some prefer medium sized.  Some, well some like em’ big and bad ass from every angle possible.  Let’s just say the Tantus Hoss is the Papa Bear sized dildo.

“Size Queens rejoice! Hoss is the biggest silicone cock Tantus makes and is perfect for those of you looking to ride a big old stallion until you scream! The impressive girth and long shaft are sure to be enough to fulfill even the greediest people out there – so put on your spurs and give ‘er a go!

Hoss is made from 100% premium silicone and with 11 insertable inches and a circumference of 8.5 inches – this is one of the most impressive body safe dongs around. This big cock is realistically shaped with a distinct head, carved frenulum and teasing veins and folds. The big balls give you something to grind against as this big dong fills you completely.

Length: 13 inches

Insertable: 11 inches

Circumference: 8.5 inches

Diameter: 2.7 inches

Base diameter: 5 inches”

This isn’t Goldie Locks’ cock.  You can get one here, but make sure you have what it takes to handle this no bs bundle of big.