It has come to my attention recently that not all women masturbate.  I consider myself to be open minded and accepting of people’s preferences, likes, dislikes, fetishes, phobias and habits.  Just about anyone can tell me anything and I won’t bat an eye, sigh or even say “huh”.   However, when a couple of my lady friends told me they had never played DJ Diddles at the Clit Club my mouth dropped.  Wide open. 

Before I could stop myself from making them feel incredibly self conscious about something that I am quite comfy with, all I could say was, “WHY”?  My question was answered with timid gestures and a general consensus of, “because I don’t have to”.  Translation: I have a significant other.  To which I replied, “so, that’s not the point.  Masturbation doesn’t take the place of intercourse”.

Hitachi: Quintessential Masturbation Tool

As the conversation continued I calmed down and hopped of my soap box.  Everyone comes from different backgrounds and sexual experiences, and there is nothing wrong it.  But, it is up to me to encourage masturbation, even if they are getting laid on the regular.  I realized that since I myself knew a couple of awesome, down to earth chicks who weren’t familiar with the stirring of the honey pot, there are probably tons of female masturbation virgins roaming the earth and surfing the web.  Don’t get me wrong, I like partnered sex.  No, I love partnered sex.  But, I enjoy a good solo session from time to time and so should you!

Through time, masturbation has been thought of as taboo, dirty and even something to be ashamed of.  Depending on the time and place, the degree of severity varies.  Some even suggest that masturbation is something you “grow out of”.  There are ridiculous myths surrounding the act of jackin’ or jillin’ off. I have never met anyone who had a sudden burst of acne or who grew hair on their palms after a nice self induced orgasm.  Oh yeah, I once heard it was okay for guys to masturbate, but not girls.  Well I am claiming myself as the authority on all of these statements and guess what, they are all LIES!

Why masturbate?

Yes, it does feel awesome.  This is especially true once you really get to know yourself.  You know what you like, you know where to go, what to do and what it takes to enjoy a long drawn out self tease or how to get it done when you are in a hurry.  But, feelin’ good isn’t the only reason to handle your business.

Nothing wrong with fast and cheap.

Masturbation also relieves stress.  You get to focus on yourself and your needs alone.  Oxytocin is released and that fuzzy feeling of calm washes over you once orgasm is achieved.  With this being said, solo play can also act as a sleep aid.  If you are tossing and turning, you may want to consider letting go of your troubles with a little self love.  During orgasm you release tons of endorphins; shortly after, falling asleep is super easy.

Masturbation can also improve your partnered sex life.  Exploring your own body and discovering what sends you into orgasmic bliss will help you communicate your needs to your partner in a clear and confident way.  Your honey bunny will more than likely be happy to do what makes you feel good.  Even using a vibrator on your own time can help improve your sexual satisfaction. 

According to WebMD, “Those who used a vibrator, she [Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH] found, even if it had been a year since the use, “had better sexual functioning in terms of vaginal lubrication, desire, arousal and ease of orgasm, and they tended to have less pain or discomfort during intercourse.”

But “it may be that those who don’t find sex painful tend to use a vibrator,” she says.”

The latter part of that quote may be true, but it is definitely a story that deserves some time - another time.  However, if using a bit of buzz can take you where you need to be both when alone and during hanky panky time, why not use one?  Knowing your body and what makes you moan can only help you grow as a sexual being and get more enjoyment out of all sexual endeavors.

WebMD also goes on to state that many women claim that masturbation helps relieve menstrual cramps as well.  I don’t know about you, but I am a fan of anything that makes that time of the month a little less like living in hell.

Whether you are single or in a relationship, masturbation is a healthy enterprise that should be explored.  If you are unattached there is no reason to go unsatisfied.  All of that tension will lead to unnecessary stress.  Knowing what you like, and don’t like, will make you a better lover.  Like Sara says, knowledge is power and power is sexy.

Now you know why you should masturbate.  Come back next week for a few helpful tips on how to get started.  If you can’t wait that long - happy experimenting!

Tags: Masturbation

This entry was posted on Monday, December 28th, 2009 at 10:24 am and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.